I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
