Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You did what with his pubic hair?
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