Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize