Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
