glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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