I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize