Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
