I wannas sexs uuuuu
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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