This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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