Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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