i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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