The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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