Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
