i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
