Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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