Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Green mimosas i think yes
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
