Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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