The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
