forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize