GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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