...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She needs sedatives and a leash
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
