he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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