i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
