What a fucking waste of an outfit
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
How external is "for external use only"?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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