She's JV to your varsity
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Can you bring me the toilet please
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
