well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
