"it" just moved
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
