I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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