his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize