so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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