Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
