SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
