I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
