real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
