Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
