You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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