I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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