i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
