I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize