somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
