my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
