I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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