No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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