he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
