you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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