I looked at my own cervix.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
