Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
