Will you blow on my dice?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
