i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She told me I should be a condom model.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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