I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
