Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
