I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
