i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
