Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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