Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
