Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think my vagina is haunted
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize