do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize