you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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