I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
