i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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