I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
