Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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