Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
